Psalm 2012 v.128

Why must a mother's heart feel such anguish?
Why must the helpless one suffer?

Human minds try to reason with mysteries
Trying their theories on the needy, the wounded, the broken
Some things are beyond all reasoning, beyond all that one can bear
Where are You?
Are You there?

Weighty, crushing is my heart of anguish
Breathless, helpless, life suspended
Wishing, waiting, almost listless
In the stillness, so alone

You are listening, waiting, watching
Crying, grieving, heaving, sorrow
In the stillness, I hear You breathing
And I faintly see You leading
To a place - - so rare

The place of leaning, cleaving, bare
Into something beyond reason
Where - oh where -  oh where?

The place that only You can go
The place that only You can know
The place of humble resignation
And yet - without despair

My hope is found in You alone
The kindest One I've ever known
Who speaks of things I do not know
And keeps me in His care

Come meet me, greet me, in this place
And let me see Your loving face
The One who wipes away my tears
And keeps me in His care

I find my rest in You alone
I lean away from all I know
And press into Your beating heart
And find my safety there

For You are with me, breathing, listening
Touching, reaching, healing, kissing
Your child, your love, be-loved one
I - am in Your care

Now I feel You gently reaching
Loving, caring, breathing, listening
Now I know that You are here
And I am not alone

I - am not alone

Isaiah 66 - As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you

Trust - Raw and Real

For the past 2 weeks, an old hymn has not left my mind, my heart, my lips.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

The past month or so has been a time to trust and lean hard on God. I have faced a few illnesses myself, my daughter has not been able to walk properly for 6 weeks, and has required countless hospital and doctors visits, and time away from my work to attend to her. She, however, cannot speak or tell us what is troubling her, so we continue to ask God for help and also seek medical advice. My husband experienced a very horrific vehicle accident, and miraculously survived.

In these times, I ask God questions, and look to Him for strength. Whenever I face overwhelming odds and obstacles, I am keenly aware that I (we) are in a spiritual battle of dramatic proportions... most of which we are unaware of.

I become more aware than ever, that my hope is not in my Christian acts of kindness or acts of service. My hope is not in how I feel, my hope is not in what I know.... my hope is built on NOTHING LESS than Jesus' blood and righteousness.

Despite the swirling of activities, and problems, and obstacles and concerns and worries, I declare that my hope is in Jesus. I choose to trust Him.

I choose to trust that He is watching and guiding me, despite what my circumstances look like. Whenever the waves of unexplained struggles come, when the demands on me become greater than I think I can give, or endure........I become even more aware of my desperate need of Him.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

For those of us who have loved ones that need our care, who need others to survive..................for those who face overwhelming obstacles, or unanswered prayers, sometimes, it seems as though reality is screaming at us, and is relentless in its demands. Despite all the responsibilities we carry, despite our obedient efforts..... He is in control.

My hope is not is the removal of all my problems, my hope is in Jesus. It is His power in and through me.

This is not to say that I choose to resign myself to accepting problems or obstacles as "my lot in life" -NO- a big fat NO.

Nor, am I afraid of the enemy. I become even more aware that the enemy is out to rob, steal and destroy my life, but............. he cannot, he is powerless, because I choose to put all of my hope in Jesus, in His oath, in His blood, in His covenant to me.

Despite what I face in a day, despite any pressing, despite my feelings, I am aware that it is "His power" "the power of the cross of Jesus" that is my anchor - my hope.

And then, I choose to press in and trust, with raw and real feelings. I rest on His unchanging grace that has an endless supply just for me.

When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 2 Cor. 4:8