I always thought I would be a missionary. I trained to be a nurse, as I thought this was the easiest way to get me "into" a country to be a missionary. Reality is, I have led short term missions teams, but never actually became a missionary in a foreign country. Did I fail? Did I miss it? No - I don't think I did.
Years ago, when my special needs child was recovering from one of her 14 surgeries, life was REALLY tough, I was tired, and was definitely confined to my home most of the time. In a moment of exhaustion, I started lamenting and complaining to God about how this "was not what I had ordered" "this was a far cry from my dream of being a missionary!" God is so kind, He endures our whining and waits for a moment of silence to deliver His infinite wisdom. After I was done crying and complaining... He reminded me of His word in Matthew that says:
...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
Then, He took it a step further and showed me what a preciously pure spirit my daughter had. She was born into sin, however, she was different - simple, and childlike. She did not ever function in anger, she never remembered anything wrong (well actually she doesn't remember much of anything lol!) she didn't even understand the word no - I had never seen anything in her eyes, except love, delight and admiration. I had a gift. A pure and precious gift.
At that moment I was eternally transformed and can remember the profound awe of His presence even today as I write this. From that day on, I stopped "pining" for lost dreams of being a missionary. If I chose to - I could face each daily task, as an opportunity to serve Him, to love and honor Him. And He - sees it all.
Over the years,I've become more mature in my walk with God, and realized that the initial "pulling into missions" that I felt, stemmed from a desire to "serve God" with my whole life. I think I assumed that it would be missions. And now, at this stage in my life, I don't really care where it is, or if I ever "go". As long as I'm serving God. I've learned what a pleasure He gets from me choosing to life my whole life as an act of worship to Him. Its not the "where" I serve so much as, "who" and "how" that seems to matter to Him. As natural and spiritual parents - we can live out many dreams through our kids. I've come to see that many of the "dreams" that I have had - my kids have got to experience. What a joy that is! Far greater than I initially considered.
On May 5th, my son headed out to Mexico with his school for a 6 weeks missions trip. Daily, I have been praying that he would get the "maximum" spiritual impact during this time. I have been overjoyed to think that my son gets to experience something I dreamed of. Now, I am a rich woman and mother.
Not only that, I see more than ever the joy and richness of keeping a dream alive enough to pass it on and let your "kids" enjoy it. Much to learn in all this, hope I get it, for my future "spiritual kids"
Thanks for the great mothers day gift Matt - you - and you living my dream. See you in 5 weeks - a changed, impacted young man of God.
8 comments:
Cheryl,
That is awesome!!!!!
As parents, and especially as moms, we bless our children to go further and to do more than we ever could.
I LOVE the picture! It's the best!
xo
YES!
Our kids, and the next generation will go further, deeper and reach higher. They will make a mark for God's glory where we only dreamed.
Dream on, Cheryl.
Matt is blessed with a wise Mom.
Could you even imagine that watching your kids seemingly"go beyond" yourself, could be so satisfying!?!?!?
I am continually shaking my head even over the positive personality traits that my children exhibit so much younger than I did...like a very solid, healthy sense of who they are and what they can do....that took me a life time!
God is so great in how He completes us and fulfills our dreams, even in the unexpected ways.
Matt, will be a changed young man!
What a wonderful opportunity for Matt!
awwww...Matt is such a blessing! I miss him!
Cheryl,
I love reading your blog. I am so blessed by the things you share from your life. I was especially blessed by this comment you made...
And now, at this stage in my life, I don't really care where it is, or if I ever "go". As long as I'm serving God. I've learned what a pleasure He gets from me choosing to live my whole life as an act of worship to Him. Its not the "where" I serve so much as, "who" and "how" that seems to matter to Him.
I have 5 months off of work to pour into my marriage and my kids all that God can get through me... I am so excited because one of the things I want our family to develop is serving God where we are at, no matter how normal it may seem. We can Glorify God in everything we do no matter how small it is. My girls are just budding into little servants and love Jesus so much! Our dream has been to be missionaries as a family someday, somewhere, hopefully in Africa. Your comment encouraged me to practice being missionaries today and everyday as God works out the "someday" of our dreams.
Peter Williams
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